This time...Trying really hard to be Pro-Government

Ok, I know there's been lots of jokes flying around these days regarding Abdullah Badawi's statement on re-sampling Anwar's DNA for the latest sodomy allegation: his (Anwar) DNA sample is too old, so we need to get fresh ones.

How could you guys out there ridicule our Premier like that? I know, some of you are even home-grown bloggers! Shame on you guys...BOOooo. Here's the clip where Pak Lah was caught uttering out of ignorance:

Reporter: Datuk Seri, Anwar claims that the government has got his dna samples 10 years ago. So why do you all still insist on getting his sample again?

Abdullah Badawi: Sebab eh, sebab eh, yang saya tahu lah, saya pun tanya jugak bila dengar cerita nie. Sebab ia tu dah lama, jadi kita minta yang baru lah, sample yang baru lah. Apa salahnya? (Translation: because, because, from what I know, I asked the same question also when I heard of this. The reason is that his (DNA sample) is too old, so we request for fresh ones. Fresh samples. What is wrong with that?)

See! That Chinese reporter obviously tried to trap our beloved Pak Lah so that he would stultify himself in front of public! It's a conspiracy and I know who's behind this...

Gosh, this guy should be detained under the ISA without trial and make him do nude squat, then probably give him a black eye. Last but not least, finish him off with C4 explosive. Trying to make fun of our Prime Minister, huh? Don't you know by doing this, you actually make him a laughing stock? And now, I felt so humiliated that the whole wide world is sneering at us. God damn it!

The whole world? Hey, doesn't this makes us more famous then ever on the globe? The same implication when we send someone into space. Oh, now I SEE what those reporters are doing...they just want to make Bolehland renown to everybody else in this world. So who's the next sultan (Malay Ruler) to celebrate his birthday? Maybe, we should confer Datukship to those reporters. Yeah, that would be a great idea.

How many of you actually knows that DNA can't get old? huh? I don't know, ok? What's the big deal? If I were the reporter, I wouldn't ask a Bachelor of Arts in Islamic Studies about those DNA or RNA stuff. Heck, that's not his discipline ok? So he is not qualified to answer that question! I would ask something more personal so that the people can get to know this wise elderly more, like, "Did you fail your statistics so bad that the university won't let you pursue a degree in economics?"

"PM: No, no, I tell you the truth. (CNN: okay, you tell me) I wanted to study economics but I failed my statistics paper. I fumbled my standard. The question was standard deviate, the paper was on statistics, I don’t know how I did it so bad, so I was not allowed to continue to do all my honors course in economics and I had to choose other subjects for which I was qualified. So I decided to choose Islamic Studies."

I can hear you giggling! Yes, Abdullah Badawi failed his statistics, so what? At least, he dares to admit it, ok? From the HEART OF MY BOTTOM, I admired his bravery! In fact, he is so daring, that he actually got the balls to assume the post as our Finance Minister cum Prime Minister! Oh, so that explains why our economy outlook looks so bleak...

Ok, I am giving up on him...he is just so beyond my reach.

One last try:
Oh, maybe...the police needs fresh DNA because Anwar has mutated?

Sometimes, it's really tough to be pro-government when the cabinet personnel are like decks on the Titanic who act with their guts, not their brains.

A Tribute to Lim Guan Eng, son of Lim Kit Siang

A short documentary on Penang's Chief Minister, Lim Guan Eng. Let's hope that he will succeed in his quest in developing an equal and open community, free of corruption, undivided and most importantly, prosperity and peace to all without New Economy Policy, and all the best to all Penangites! For all you know, DAP (Democratic Action Party) was once the Malaysian branch of Singapore's People Action Party (PAP), I am getting good vibes.

I hope his way will open the eyes of the southern folks by the next election and I pray that they will be sober enough to pick a leader, not just a TCSS* squandering politician.

*TCSS - Talk Cock Sing Song

Meanwhile, let's listen to this lovely song by one of our patriot, Namawee:

The Great Singapore Sales

I read about this woman on the newspaper 2 months back, who booked a hotel suite for 3 days and flew all the way from Malaysia to Singapore, just to take advantage of the Great Singapore Sale!

"Wah, spent so much on the flight and the hotel so that she get to spend more? Something must be loose in her head!" was my immediate reaction.



And what do you know? A little stroll in Anchor Point after dinner and we bought 3 shirts, 6 blouses and a pants within an hour! Just couldn't resist the temptation when you see a Giordano tee for $5.00, or a G2000 blouse for $9.00...gee! And, if you spend a minimum of $50 on the discounted stuff at Giordano, you get to enjoy an additional 10% off on the total purchase or buy selected items at $3.00... This is what we call sale mah! If the Giordano back in JB is selling a tee for RM5.00, please do let me know ya ;p

Btw, still, flying all the way here to get some cheap tee...pft. Or, I just don't understand women...

OMG! What is happening back in my homeland??!!

It's not like I have nothing to do but to scourge each and every doings or sayings of the ministers or MPs...but with the headlines I saw these days while reading homeland news on the Internet, I can't abstain myself from asking,"WTF is wrong with our country?"

Man in critical condition after car is shot 30 times
"A businessman is fighting for his life after his vehicle was shot at more than 30 times by assailants trailing him for about 200 metres."
"...semi-automatic guns were used in the attack..."

Remark: Stay cool man...if the C4 is out there, semi-automatic is nothing, ok? Relax, our home is still a safe and peaceful land as claimed by some MPs.

Sheikh Muszaphar among recipients of Negri state awards
"Dr Sheikh Muszaphar was sent to space aboard the Soyuz TMA-11 spacecraft on Oct 10 last year."
"He is among 18 people receiving the award, which carries the title Datuk."

Remark: Yeah, sent a tourist to space and award him Datukship. Great! Now his name is longer than ever: Datuk Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor Al Masrie bin ...whatever lar. Thought the awards are for those who had contributed significantly to the country in particular areas? I wonder what was his? He didn't even shared the results of the experiments conducted while he was at the ISS because due to his neg(intel)ligence the specimens were shattered during the landing process...But do we really need the results for some experiments which had been carried out lo00...ng before time by western researchers. If we really need to know the outcome, we could just read their publications, right? And, so why do we send him to space then? Go stack up your pillow high high and think about it...I don't know, I really don't.

By the way, if he gets to become a Datuk, what about those who help him to succeed in his quest? Who? The TAXPAYERS...shouldn't all of them be awarded the Datuk Seri title then? If you send me to space, you can call me Nenek if you want to.

Federal Government to help revive funicular service
"The Federal Government will help finance the project to repair and revive Penang Hill's funicular service, said Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi."

Remark: Let's give our brilliant PM a round of applause! (*claps...) He has done it again! What a brilliant idea to alleviate the burden of the rakyat due the sharp cut in petrol subsidy. Instead of building the second Penang bridge faster (due to the lack of government fund) and let the rakyat waste petrol in traffic jams, we should go ahead to perk up the Penang Hill's train service (since we actually have the money). What a flip-flop statement?!

Erm, one stupid question...why leh? Man, this is a damn stupid question! It's a kind of public transport mah and by doing so, it will benefit those who take the train up and down Penang Hill to get to work which constitutes up to a grand total of 0.00001% of workforce.....erm...in Penang...Never mind, Guan Eng, the point is, it's still a Penang Mega-peanut Project by the Federal mah...Must be grateful...

Loh: PKR rep’s aide punched me
"Loh approached the organisers of the function to discuss with them the protesters' concern when he was allegedly punched in the face by a man believed to be an aide of a fellow PKR member..."

Remark: As the famous quotes by Datuk Ong Tee Keat (VP of MCA) goes, "内斗内行，外斗外行(Good at internal dispute, Poor at fencing off external threats)" Another barbaric act by another sus barbatus.

More bikers, accidents on the road
"...motorcyclists and pillion riders who died in road accidents had increased by 211 cases during the first six months of the year, from 1,728 last year..."

Remark: Oh...this is just the trend and there's nothing that we can do except paying some lip service.

Shafie: Wrong to demand return of artefacts
"Although Malaysia can claim to be the rightful owner of historical documents kept overseas, it is not right to demand that they be returned, said Unity, Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Datuk Seri Shafie Apdal."

Remark: Yes, if you can't keep such important documents properly, it's better to have someone to safekeep it for you. Remember how we failed to produce the letter to prove our sovereignty over Pulau Batu Puteh?

This is just for today...Not to mentioned the furore for the past few weeks involving the DPM and opposition leader. For all you know, I don't really care if Najib or Rosmah did blasted some Mongolian girl or if Anwar is into BrokeBack Mounting...But if some satanic, cold-blooded murderer is going to take over the premiership of Bolehland by 2010, I wouldn't mind if the next PM is gay, too!

Joyeux Anniversaire, Chiew Mei

What does 7-11 reminds you of? The 24-hour convenience store mega-chain with more than 32,400 stores worldwide?

Well, to me, it's a date when this wonder baby was born in a humble town named Parit Buntar, few hundred kilometres away from my hometown. Who would have known that this cute little girl who was nicknamed "Oor Kei Boo" (mean "fierce hen") and was once plumpy (which she blames it to her daily curry mee intake during primary school) would eventually grew up into this gorgeous lady, who had inadvertently clinched the Ms FKE title and become my soulmate?

Well, this is CM's first birthday celebration away from home...Being away from family and friends, it is really heartwarming to have CY and TK to celebrate with CM:) Here we are at Billy Bombers Classic @ The Central, Clark Quay:

The gang again! And nice view beside Singapore River!

CM making a wish: Erm...I want...Big Fat Bonus! Huge Increment! Diamonds...

CM poses at the Central, Clark Quay.

Tiramisu

Starhub vs TMNet

I went into an incidental Starhub vendor yesterday at Tiong Bahru, subscribed the student plan for 8Mbps broadband connection and return home beaming with the modem. The entire procedure? Smooth and slick... There is no stupid problems like "sorry, tak ada port kat you punya taman" or "tak ada port kenapa encik apply streamyx".

I was told that I will be able to access the internet by this morning, less than 24 hours...I plugged in the modem this morning, no signal and I called the service centre. The operator was very polite. He asked for some preliminary details and transferred my call to this highly enthusiastic technician who helped me troubleshoot the problem systematically and professionally in less than 10 minutes: Voila! I am good to go!

This, my friend, is what we call an excellent customer service and I rated 5 star! A result of open tender and competition among 3 giant telcos, which is unlikely to be found back in Bolehland. Moreover, 8Mbps for $32.10 vs 1Mbps for RM77, you do the maths. TMNet has so much to learn and a really long way to go...Nonetheless, here are some pointers that I hope our government-linked telco can humbly absorb for the benefit of millions Malaysian netizens, viz:

1. Upgrade current bandwidth to >2Mbps and consistently upgrade the speed in-line with the global trend. The world is forever moving forward and we should at least be at par if not more advanced.
2. Design more attractive plans (e.g. student plan) which suit different needs. And of course, with reasonable price.
3. Internal communication of the organization should be in sync. For example, the necessary facilities should be set up at the targeted residences before the marketing group send out their elite eagles to push for sales. As such, cases like this will not happen in future and in fact it shouldn't now.
4. Improve customer service in soft and hard skills. Technical competency is vital for successful remote troubleshooting. More importantly, please be polite instead of back-firing at the customers. I know that customer is not always right, but as a service provider, surely you should know that customer is king. Once, I had to shout out loud to embarass one of the customer service when I tried to understand how my father's internet bill in Johor was consolidated into mine "automatically" in the system and to check if they had double bill us. Instead of apologizing for the technical error, she mockingly asked me, " Ini hutang ayah you, you tak mau bayar ke?" I created a commotion and ranted about her stupid insultation and inefficiency, threw the money at her face and walked off and guess what? The Indian security guard opened the door for me and whispered in my ears,"Baguslah you bagi dia kau kau. Diorang nie memang slack."~wtf
5. Improve efficiency! This applies to all in the organization and the sub-contractors. I experienced waiting for more than 1 hour with just 3 person ahead of me. Why? Because 1 out of 3 counters is closed for no reason, the other two receptionists were chit-chatting while servicing their clients.
6. Do not outsource the hardware setup task to some bangla sub-contractor who may or may not turn up, or if he did turn up it's already so many months later. Please get someone profesional, qualified and trustworthy and to service us timely! My mom got a shock the other time when this sus barbatus suddenly appeared in front of our doorsteps with his toolbox, after months of our subscription. He looked as if he just woke up from a terrible hangover with messy hair, in his shorts and the best thing, he brought his 3-year old daughter. Of course, my mom wouldn't let him in.

These are some thoughts from my experience with TMNet. Come on, we are your most valuable assets, your CUSTOMER! We want to believe that you can do much better than this, just show us. Will you?

ps: some of the hate sites just for you, TMNet.
http://www.streamyxsucks.com/
http://geminigeek.com/blog/archives/2006/09/congratulations-streamyx-is-so-slow/

And suanie actually compiled a list of what the netizens have to say, LISTEN!!

Bolehland United...finally?

For the first time, both the big time politicians from BN and the Oppositions are snorting through the same nostril...Notice how both of them showed their fingers in denial? And if both allegations are true...these sama pangsal punya abang adik love doing the anus:p Well, they call it "dirty politics" for a reason...duh!

Najib: On Altantuya Shaariibuu's murder
Anwar: On sodomy allegation

And what more can you do if you are a Malay university drop out? Become a pain in the ass lor! And hopefully, you will become the next MP, minister or Prime Minister of Bolehland in the next election...who knows?

Saiful (Left)...was he really "back-stabbed" by Anwar? Eew, dirty politcs...

Ooh...ohh, and what is our mighty Abdullah Badawi doing with all this contemptible ruckus going on?

Zzzzz...Zzzzzz

BN Politicians say the Darndest Things

If you see a snakes and Indians, we should kill the Indians first?

So it's like if we see pigs and Malays, we should slaughter the Malays first?

Pft...childish

Still tulan with TMNET

3 months after my post on TMNET, finally I have Streamyx at home...pheew.

I will just skip the rantings...bloody TMNET.